Some random unsolicited advice for villains, evil aliens, mad scientists, mutant monsters and the heroes who fight them.
Advice to Skynet:
Instead of sending back a slow-witted assassin robot with a 6502 for brains, t-mail a score of 10-megaton nukes spaced around the LA Basin. It's not like you're worried about altering history. Topless Robot has "10 Helpful Suggestions for Killing John Connor".
Advice for John Conner:
Watch "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and learn how to use a time machine properly.
Advice for Humans:
Once your computer virus has knocked out the force fields, don't screw around with F-18s and air-to-air missiles with wimpy warheads. A few hundred missiles with 50 pound warheads are not going to get the job done against city-destroyers that are 15 miles wide. Now is the time to pull out the low yield tactical nukes and finish the job before they finish rebooting whatever gawd-awful OS they are using. I think you should be way past worrying about collateral damage at this point.
Advice to Aliens:
You can download a free 90-day trial version of McAffee and conquer the Earth before it expires.
War Of the Worlds
Advice to Humans:
Hang out at Day Care Centers - it won't save you, but at least before a Martian eats or vaporizes you can sneeze on them with a full load.
Advice to Martians:
Eat your vegetables.
The Wizard of Oz
Advice to Wicked Witch of the West:
Replace that hour glass with an egg timer. And you really should care what the Flying monkeys do with the others.
Advice for Dorothy:
Don't go back to Kansas.